In Chapter 19 ‘Caverns of the Mind,’ Hallie and her brother are deep in the tunnels under their house. The only difference is Hallie has experienced the Creator’s love and is no longer dragged through life by her fears and doubts. Collin on the other hand is totally controlled by his fears and anger by dwelling with the gnomes who have not only captured him, but he considers them his family.
Hope you enjoy this small part of Chapter 19 as much as I had writing it:
Caverns Of The Mind
The insect’s back had a hard outer shell, like the hood of a car. Riding on Aunt J’s horses back at the ranch was completely different from this experience. The long, graceful strides of the insect’s arms and legs made Hallie’s body twist and sway, making it almost impossible to get into a fluid rhythm.
She wielded a lit torch like a sword, slicing into the ever-encroaching darkness and defying it to swallow her whole. Her experience in the Creator’s realm had given her a renewed mind, changing her thoughts of fear and doubt to that of hope and adventure. She was ready to take on any challenge in finding her brother.
Hallie inspected every chiseled-out piece of wall for clues but found none. Not until they turned a corner.
A faint light illuminated the end of the long corridor. Making their way down towards the light, she saw random carved-out prison cells with worn iron bars locked shut. Hallie stopped her ride to hop off and get a closer look. Shining the torch into the first cell, she found nothing but a few rats eating from a tin can.
When she examined the next cell, her light caught a glimmer of an intricately designed piece of jewelry. She stretched out her free arm as far as it would reach through the bars and just barely grabbed the object and pulled it to herself.
It was black and yellow, frosted in shimmering stripes of fine powdered diamonds. She twirled the elaborate rendition of a caterpillar in her hand. The elongated character spiraled around and curved slightly upward, like an earring clip that is made to wrap around the outside of the ear. It was one of the prettiest pieces of jewelry Hallie had ever seen. She tried it on and it fit perfectly.
Hallie placed her torch through the bars of the cell and examined the cell walls. Extreme textures of light and shadow everywhere illuminated carved-out writing. Words were written over and over throughout all three walls:
FORGIVE ME, FORGIVE ME, I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY, I’LL CHANGE, WHATEVER YOU WANT, TELL ME WHAT TO DO, TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT, HOW CAN I MAKE YOU HAPPY, HOW CAN I MAKE YOU LOVE ME, PLEASE, JUST LOVE ME, I NEED YOU TO LOVE ME, DON’T LEAVE ME, DON’T HURT ME. PLEASE FORGIVE ME.
The mantra covered every inch of the walls. Some parts were smudged with a bloody finger- or handprint. This person must have quite literally worked his or her fingers to the bone.
Reading the words brought a sobering reality to Hallie of the depths of people’s wounds. Who would be so cruel as to lock someone away and never release them from their stigma, withholding love, until they became insane with guilt and shame?
During a conversation she had had with Charisma one day about forgiving her dad, Charisma had said, “Did you know the Hebrew word for ‘forgiveness’ means ‘to let go’?”
Wow, how ironic. Someone had literally kept this person locked up, and forgiveness would have been the key. Except when we forgive someone else, letting the hurts go and no longer being chained up with them really is the key.
I wrote about several prison cells; each one holding a different lesson about what imprisons us in our own lives. The first one that I posted here was a powerful revelation I had discovered about forgiveness. If forgiveness means to let go, then if we don’t, we are not only imprisoning the one who hurt us but we are locking ourselves up with that person as well. If you don’t believe me, try thinking of the person you have unforgiveness towards. I bet it is easy to picture them so closely that you can feel all the anger and hurts bubbling up inside of you. The only way to free yourself from them is to release them. In this particular prison cell the one writing was locked away with guilt and unforgiveness of herself. If your like me than your harder on yourself than anyone else. The key in opening the prison cell is to receive forgiveness and to believe the power in it. Once you have asked forgiveness it is like taking the key and opening the door. The problem we have many times is we either don’t believe the key worked or that we don’t deserve to be free, so we stay inside our cells and repeat the mantra, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please forgive me, I’ll do whatever you want, please don’t leave me hear,” and in all reality we have left ourselves their.
There is a favorite scripture verse for this scenario. It is, “He who the son sets free, is free indeed.”